A random day in town. Wouldn't expect much from that, huh? Well, guess again. I jumped into a mud puddle.. that was actually a TAR PIT. <.<; I found Stepmother's mom there. { Inside joke between a friend and I }. Haha, so hilarious.

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Currently Listening Stone Sour By Stone Sour see related

Haha. I'm back for another round of fun and entertaining gestures for my friends. Exclude the family for now, since obviously.. they don't care for me much any more. Whooo. Anyway, I'm doing alright. Health-wise, I'm staying tired. It feels as though my body is deterriorating on me. D< I hate it. I hate the overwhelming feeling of depression that I get when I think about my family as well. Pha. So now, I'm going to pick up on a second job, save some money, survive college, and PERHAPS move away. I hope I'll be able to transfer to Iowa, where Love lives. I'd so move there in a heartbeat.. and I'm going to TRY. Just to get away from the Bitch known as Stepmother.

Anyway, that's enough from me. Enough of the ranting and .. less than humorous bullshit that rolls from my mouth. Bleh. ee;

Currently Listening Come What(ever) May By Stone Sour Through Glass see related

Haha.

I fucking suck, at everything.

Well, not at making a day so fucking miserable.

Oh well. There's always more days to be just as fucking bad, especially with me living.

No, I'm not going to fucking commit suicide.

I'm afraid of death, alright?

So FUCKING pathetic.

I can just see it now.

"G'Damnit Jess, it's about time that you've updated Xanga." Blah, blah blah.

Truth be told, I'm sorry about the long absence. I've just been rather sick lately. Tired both mentally and physically. So what?

No matter how much I try to be the leader, to say that everything is fine and to just move ahead, I can't do this any longer. I'm not as strong as I claim to be, more like a foolish follower trying to make his way up in the ranks, yet failing miserably.

"So, what are you going to do now?"

I'm going to just be myself. The class clown. The failing loser. Someone that seems to be starving for attention, yet hates the concept altogether.

I'm going to finish college, even if it does take a few extra years. I'm undecided as of what I'm going to major in. My first thought was to go into Computer Science, but the math portion of C++ is kicking my ass. Now, I'm either going to jump into Biology or Art.

I'm going to fucking leave this place in due time, to be with the person that I love. Sorry father, but you'll have to deal with Stepmother by yourself. I'm tired of her God Damn personality and her relatives. Stfu bitch. Who cares about me anyway? All I am  is a bragging tool for you. If I fail at a tiny mistake..? I'm someone that you can exploit for your own personal gain. Thank you for the times that you've 'tricked' me into falling for all of those 'lies.' I love you.

-- Jess.

.:.Conversations.Via.Phone.:.