I can just see it now. "G'Damnit Jess, it's about time that you've updated Xanga." Blah, blah blah. Truth be told, I'm sorry about the long absence. I've just been rather sick lately. Tired both mentally and physically. So what? No matter how much I try to be the leader, to say that everything is fine and to just move ahead, I can't do this any longer. I'm not as strong as I claim to be, more like a foolish follower trying to make his way up in the ranks, yet failing miserably. "So, what are you going to do now?" I'm going to just be myself. The class clown. The failing loser. Someone that seems to be starving for attention, yet hates the concept altogether. I'm going to finish college, even if it does take a few extra years. I'm undecided as of what I'm going to major in. My first thought was to go into Computer Science, but the math portion of C++ is kicking my ass. Now, I'm either going to jump into Biology or Art. I'm going to fucking leave this place in due time, to be with the person that I love. Sorry father, but you'll have to deal with Stepmother by yourself. I'm tired of her God Damn personality and her relatives. Stfu bitch. Who cares about me anyway? All I am is a bragging tool for you. If I fail at a tiny mistake..? I'm someone that you can exploit for your own personal gain. Thank you for the times that you've 'tricked' me into falling for all of those 'lies.' I love you. -- Jess. |